Across the time
by Zuzu136
Summary: Zara is extraordinary. She is part of the resistance against Voldemort. After Harry Potter died at the Ministry, world is in pieces. Everyone is scared. And the last battle came. What happens, when she is sent back in time by noone else than Dumbledore?
1. The Battle of Hogwarts

**AN: I set this first chapter into the era, when Harry Potter dies at the Ministry, together with Sirius in the fight with Bellatrix. Voldemort afterwards claims Britain as his, muggles are terrorized, Order is still fighting, but their last fortress is Hogwards. The world is in ruins, for two years everybody is in constant fear.**

**I hope you like it, the next chapter would be little more optimistic...**

1. The Battle of Hogwarts

**_Bellum letale- Deathly war_**

Remaining members of the Order of Phoenix, their families, friends and last couple of former Aurors were the occupants of the Hogwarts castle. Castle had better and glorious days as these. Some parts could be called ruins of what used to be magnificent piece of architecture.

I couldn´t just sit around and wait. I had to do something. Looking around Great hall that became our last refuge was not good for my nerves. Everybody looked so scared, they didn´t know what to expect. I knew it. This was our final battle, our last attempt to change our reality.

I walked away. My steps were echoing through empty corridors that nobody was using anymore. I propped against the arch in the courtyard, overlooking the Forbidden forest. Tonight not even birds were singing. It was four in the afternoon, first of September, but thick black clouds made it look like dark evening.

"Storm is in the air," told Remus, who was now standing behind me. I may be young, but Remus Lupin and his wife Tonks were my best friends, since I was in the resistance. I didn´t know, how long I was up here.

"You know Rem, tonight it is going to end, but I think in a bad way," I replied in kind of cold manner. Everyone was already used to my non-emotional state. I had to remain strong and focused, no matter what. Every mistake has its cost, I learned my lesson hard way.

"Albus wants us all in the Great hall," he said, so we silently got back there. I sat myself on the mattress I conjured when we moved here from damaged living areas of the castle. Dumbledore´s speech, about the importance of defending the castle, I spend checking my weapons- dagger and gun. There are sometimes easier ways how to defeat your enemy than magic duel.

Slight buzz of silent conversations returned to the hall. Few people gave me encouraging smiles. I was a child to some of them, despite my many battles. Tonight it was kind and sad at the same time. I may never see those faces again. Fighting for better future is never easy.

"They are here!" shouted someone from the entrance hall. Everyone froze first. Then the movement began again. Parents gave their kids last instructions to stay in the castle and fight only immediate danger, lovers exchanged kisses, warriors prepared their wands and hurried onto the grounds.

With a deep breath I went out on the grounds as well. Screams and shouts of the Dead Eaters attacking the invisible protection barrier were deafening. I steadied myself. Remus and Tonks were standing beside me. Few aurors had already begun firing courses towards Death Eaters. We patiently waited; we needed every piece of energy.

With an enormous thunder the barrier collapsed. Hell was loose on Hogwarts' grounds, between the castle and the Forbidden Forest. Voldemort had decided a front attack that no one expected.

Death Eaters accompanied with dementors penetrated the grounds, leaving bloody path behind them. Creatures from the Forbidden Forest came to help, but even Acromantulas are no match to dementors. The centaurs looked at the walking Voldemort's army and readied themselves to battle.

"Here we go," I told to myself and aimed to the first Death Eater that came close enough. My Stunning spell hit him hard. I had no time to admire my achievement. Few curses were sent my way. I deflected them and sent few of mine.

Flashs of light were everywhere. It was chaos. We were fighting with all our hearts, for all those lost family members and friends. I didn´t know how much enemies I took down, it didn´t matter. There were hundreds of them and only dozens of us.

The school grounds were transformed into battlefield full of screams and desperate cries. I was fighting some random Death Eater when I saw black figures entering the castle. With swift movement I took out my gun and fired. The shot echoed in my ears a little, but hit the targets with merciless precision.

I ran back into the castle. I saw people falling all around me. We were losing. Inside of the Entrance hall was chaos as on the grounds. I didn´t know how much time had passed.

"Watch out!" screamed someone and I cringed just in time. Green light hit the wall beside me. Parts of the walls and stair were falling apart.

"Stupefy!" I heard and instantly I was flying backwards. My head crushed into the wall, but the spell was not powerful enough. Luckily I remained conscious.

"Screw you!" I shouted back and hit the attacked with much more powerful stupefy of my own. I pulled myself back on my feet. Few kids were fighting with black haired woman in the Great hall, apparently scared like never in their lives. When a green-lighted course hit them, I finally managed to join their fight. But it was too late, lifeless bodies fell to the ground.

"No!" I screamed in despair for the first time tonight. They were so young and innocent.

"What are you going to do about it, girlie?" asked the woman in fake-child voice. Finally I was able to recognize her. The blood was boiling inside my veins. Bellatrix Black, the woman who killed my little brother, one of the Voldemort´s most powerful and definitely most loyal servants.

"You crazy bitch!" I sent a strong Expelliarmus her way, but she was very fast. I had to admit, that powerful too. Our fight was exhausting. Every spell I sent her way she deflected, every curse that aimed for me I managed to evade. Somehow we were even. But then two fighting figures came between us.

Two men were fighting muggle style, wrestling. I saw that their hands were transformed into claws. The sandy hair I recognized immediately. Remus was badly injured, his body was full of new bleeding wounds, but he was fighting viciously. I was so focused on them that I for few seconds forgot on Bellatrix. She knocked me down to the floor from behind.

"Now look, how your precious wolf is going to die," she hissed to my ear as she pulled me by hair. My hands were tied behind my back with magic ropes. I couldn't move. I could only watch as everyone in the room was slowly falling. I saw as killing curse hit the red head of Fred Weasley, I saw how the huge stone from the ceiling fell onto some children. I had tears in my eyes.

"How does it feel to see everyone die?" Bellatrix was merciless. She made me see Remus death. "Crucio!" she said and my body trembled under the powerful curse. Every muscle in me screamed with pain. But I clenched my teeth hard. I won´t give her the pleasure to hear me screaming, not when I still have some energy left.

"Aaah, what do we have here?" she found my dagger in the saggar on my hip. With the corner of my eye I saw as she inflicted it with some dark magic. I could not resist shivering as she made quite deep cuts on my shoulder.

"Your pretty little face needs some upgrade," her cruel laugh was malicious. She pushed me into the way Greyback was running. He slapped me with his claws. My right eye stayed intact, but I felt blood on my cheeks.

"Look around, everybody is dead," Bellatrix hissed in my ear some more. Sounds of the battle were dying away. She was right. I saw only two figures fighting for life or death: Dumbledore and Voldemort. Bellatrix made me stand and come closer. She wanted to enjoy the view.

Dumbledore saw me in the hands of Bellatrix. I saw something in his eyes I couldn´t identify. He created a fire barrier between him and Voldemort and turned to me. His curse sent Bellatrix flying backward. Now it was just us two in the circles of flames. Then he performed some really exquisite wand movement and sent it my way. Dumbledore was hit by Voldemort´s killing curse. I saw him die too.

My body felt suddenly like being pressed through narrow tube. He must have disapparate me in last second. I hit the gound hard. I saw sun above me and lake in my sight. That was the last thing before black unconsciousness found me.


	2. Across time

**AN: This chapter will move the story to the actual plot. **

**Please review!**

**It is my first attempt to write fanfiction in English. I would be grateful for any feedback! ;)**

2. Against time

_Tempus edax rerum- Time, devourer of all things_

My body was in pain, my head was spinning and my eyes were tightly shut. But I had to know where I was. Last thing I remember was hitting the ground pretty hard. I made my body to move a little. Every muscle was against it. But I was not longer on the ground, more likely in the bed.

I forced my eyelids to open. Few quick blinks against sharp bright light were necessary. My eyes had to adjust to new conditions. I haven´t seen such bright light in a really long time, I told myself.

"Young lady, you are awake! How are you feeling, darling?" asked me somehow familiar female voice. When she came into my field of view I flinched. It was not possible. I quickly turn my head from side to side, looking for my wand and gun. They are on the nightstand.

"Oh, you don't have to be scared; I am here to help you. Here, drink this, I am going to call the Headmaster," she told me on soft voice and handed me a small flask with purple liquid. I relax a bit. I knew this healing potion, so I drank it. She left and I was for some moments alone with my thoughts.

´Where the hell I am? ´ I asked myself. My surroundings looked like hospital. And that woman exactly like younger version of Madam Pomfrey. It was surreal.

"Ah, I see you are finally awake, Miss..." told very specific and familiar voice of Albus Dumbledore.

"Nox. Zara Aveen Nox, sir," I answered his silent question in awe. My last memory before I woke up is seeing him die. And now he is standing before me, with sparkles in his bright blue eyes and typical extraordinary green robes.

"So Miss Nox," his features hardens with my last name, and I can definitely understand why. "Please, call me Zara, sir," I tell him before he can continue.

"Zara, I have few questions," he said and his gaze is suddenly suspicious. I would be too, so I just nod.

"First of all, do you remember how you got here? Nobody should be able to..." I can´t help myself to finish his sentence: "apparate and dissapparate on the grounds of Hogwarts, except the Headmaster, I know sir."

"So you certainly know, it is a mystery for me how you got here. Boys who found you told me that you simply appeared from thin air!" he exclaimed uncharacteristically loudly for him. This Dumbledore is not the same as I knew before.

"Sir, could you tell me what date it is?" I ask him warily. "3rd of September, of course," Dumbledore replies automatically.

"But what year, sir," I expand my demand. "1976," he said little insecure.

"What? Twenty fucking years back?!" I couldn´t help shouting. "What am I supposed to do in here?" I asked mostly myself. Dumbledore seemed to be thinking.

"You tell me you are coming from 1996?" he asks. "No, actually 1997, but one year is nothing in comparison to twenty," I say before I can think about it. I was always straightforward, especially when it came to discussions with Dumbledore.

"It should not be possible, to time-travel like that," he said after few silent moments. "I know sir, but here I am. And your future self sent me," I finally told him.

"We need to discuss it further. But Madam Pomfrey is concerned about your health. Let´s leave it for tomorrow. Now, rest," concluded Dumbledore and without delay he left the Hospital wing. I was sure now, where I was. This section of castle was completely damaged in my time.

"Darling, I am afraid I cannot cure your scars, "Madam Pomfrey said to me, when she checked my cuts. I saw she was truly sad about it.

"Don´t worry about it, I had worse injuries than deep cuts," I smiled encouragingly, but she visibly flinched. I forgot that in these times injuries imposed with dark magic were not so common.

"I was able to heal the broken ribs and bruises. When they brought you here, you were bleeding badly, what happened to you dear child?" she asked with love in her voice. One could not anything but like her.

"Believe me, you really don´t want to know," I said and suppressed tears forming in my eyes. Memories on battle came back to me: All those screams, desperate attempts to fight, dead bodies. I shut my eyes tight. There are things that cannot be healed with magic and potions. I drank the dreamless sleep potion and fell back on soft pillow. I was safe from everything, just for a while.

When I woke up after unusually long sleep it was already bright sunny day. Madam Pomfrey must have shut the curtains around my bed while I was sleeping. I stretched on the bed and draw the curtains apart. I was no longer the only patient in Hospital wing. On the nearby bed was small boy with bleeding nose and other, older one, standing beside him.

"Sweete, put your hand down, so I can heal it and clean you up," said Madam Pomfrey. Young boy nodded and put his hand down. His face was covered with blood.

"Mister Potter, I believe you can explain to me what happened," she directed her anger to older one.

"Poppy, it was not my fault. We were recruiting for new chaser. He is second year, I could not stop him from rehearsal. And you know how it is with bludgers, they are tricky," he was defending himself. Only now I noticed that he was clothed in quidditch robes. I haven't seen them for almost three years! And did she call him Potter?

"Ok, but be more careful next time," she concluded. "Ah, Miss Nox, you are awake! Finally, I was afraid that you fell back to unconscious," madame Pomfrey turned to me.

"I haven't had proper sleep for very long time, my body probably needed it," I replied in small voice as both boys turned to me.

"It´s OK darling, do you want to try to walk?" she asked me. I nodded enthusiastically. She finished cleaning the small boy and came to me.

"Let´s try it," she encouraged me and I put my legs down on the floor. Standing up was not such problem. Few insecure steps were caused mostly because my muscles were not properly stretched for two or three days.

"Miss Nox, I believe you are fully healed. It is remarkable quick recovery!" nurse said. "Now if you feel like it, there is a bathroom and some clean clothes for you. You can go to visit the Headmaster. You know the way?" she gave me instructions. I shook my head in denial.

"Mr. Potter, could you accompany this young lady to Headmasters office, when she is ready?" Madam Pomfrey asked older boy. "Of course, Poppy," he answered and I was really surprised that she had nothing against the name. In my time she really didn´t like it.

I took quick shower. It was really relaxing. When I came out, fully clothed in plain white blouse and black skirt, much to my distaste, Madam Pomfrey was already healing some other minor injury.

"Let´s go then. By the way, I am James," he outstretched his arm toward me. I shook it and my thoughts whirred around the facts I knew about Harry Potter´s father.

"I am Zara," I told him. He smiled and leaded the way through the castle. I was admiring the untouched corridors full of students, walls covered with moving portraits and sunny courtyards filled with green grass and trees. I never saw Hogwarts like this. It was fascinating.

"We are here, but I don't know the password, do you want me to stay with you and guess?" he asked me politely. "No thanks. I believe it is Lemon drops," I said and it looked like I was correct. The gargoyle stepped aside and I was able to step on the moving staircase.

"Miss N... Zara, pleasure to meet you again," said Dumbledore, when I came into his circular office. It was brighter as I remembered it from my time.

"I believe, you crosschecked my family, but I am not born yet," I said as I sat myself right across of him. I was never truly polite, when it came to Dumbledore. His intentions were good, but I found out that his secretive and protective means were not always the right way.

"You have to understand I am only cautious. You literally fell in the middle of the grounds with a lot of injuries. I see that Madame Pomfrey was not able to heal the cuts properly," he stated.

"I know and understand, trust me. And do not worry about the scars Albus, I can live with them, there were much worse injuries than few werewolf scratches and cuts from cursed blades," I told him, not really noticing that I called him Albus. He stayed silent.

"Could you describe to me, what happened? Why I, as you said yesterday, sent you here?" he asked the questions that he needed the answers.

"You must understand the greater picture of what I am going to tell you. Please, don't interrupt me, sir," I said. I previously thought about what I should tell him and what not. Dumbledore nodded.

"I am coming from not very bright future. When I was born, everything seemed to be fine; the Dark Lord seemed to be defeated. But it was not true. He was only hiding and waiting for another opportunity to come out of the shadows. And he came stronger. There was a prophecy that he will have someone, who would be able to overpower him. The chosen one was Harry. I never knew him, because I was schooled at home, not here in Hogwarts.

After few futile attempts, Voldemort succeeded in killing Harry in one incident in the Ministry. Voldy came public as well. The chaos became, everyone was afraid. Death Eaters took on the Ministry, Aurors were suspended or arrested. Muggleborns were registered and Ministry confiscated their wands.

Order was still active in my time, but we were severely outnumbered. I was part of the Order since Remus found me fighting with the Death Eaters that came to our house. My family was slaughtered, but I somehow managed to survive. It was dark times. Nobody was safe, members of Order and their families were in hiding. Protective charms were not enough.

After year and a half of fighting throughout Britain, Voldemort and his Death Eaters outnumbered us in massive way. He claimed the whole Kingdom, muggles became just workforce. Even their politics and army failed in attempts to stop Voldemort. Our last refuge was Hogwarts. The castle was not the same as it is now. Death Eaters made several attempts to take it down. Few parts were damaged. We were living together, in the Great Hall, after one severe attack.

And then, the final battle came. Death Eaters surrounded the grounds. We were not able to defend out last fortress. I watched many people died, the fight was cruel. They did not stop on anything, they killed even small children! I was captured by Bellatrix, one of Voldemort most powerful and loyal ones. She tortured me, made me watch everyone else to die. You were fighting Voldemort himself. And then, when everything was lost, battle was almost over, we lost, you saw me and send some spell my way. It cost you your own life," I finished and washed tears from my face. Stinking scars reminded me of what I survived.


	3. Something different

3. Something different

_Terra Nova- New land_

**AN: So another chapter is here... long train rides are sometimes inspiring ;)**

**Any feedback will be appreciated, if you like it or not, please let me know... I promise, I won´t bite :D Btw, I know there must be like a gazzilion mistakes, but I am doing my best...;)**

After my long story Dumbledore leaded me to some secluded room near the entrance to his office. "Password is Aurora. You will have more comfort and peace in here than in Hospital wing," he said. I entered the room and looked around. Walls were simple white, on the right was huge bed and under the window on the left small table. Doors leaded to small bathroom. I was in heaven.

"It was enough memories for today. Tomorrow we will talk about next steps, now rest," he said and promptly left me alone. For nearly two years I was living where I could. Sleeping with one eye opened and wand prepared for anything. Most of the times I was accompanied with a member of Order and we took turns in guarding and sleeping. Now, I was not only back in more peaceful times, first war only in its beginnings, but I have a place where I could stay without worrying about my safety. It was surreal.

I promptly changed into long sleeved nightgown that I believed belonged to some female member of the staff, but I really couldn't care less. I sat on the window sill and was admiring the view on the green grounds. Even nature in my time was lifeless, brown or grey. This was like I remembered it from my childhood in Wales.

That night I haven't slept as good as in Hospital wing, but my body was fully recovered from the injuries I suffered. Thanks to my fast metabolism, magic and skilled hands of Madame Pomfrey. I took a quick shower and changed back to blouse and skirt I had the day before. I found some novel on the shelf, so I decided to read before I go to Dumbledore again. He expected me in the afternoon after all. Time flew fast, when you have something interesting to do.

"Miss Zara, pleasure to see you in better mood," welcomed me the Headmaster. I sat to my usual seat. He looked like he had some interesting idea in his mind.

"I think you are really brave young witch. Yesterday you told me not very pleasant things about the future that is ahead of us. But I do believe in second chances and you are here to make a second chance for our world. I thought about it whole night. Do you want to finish your education now?" he asked me. Even the portraits of former Headmasters were silently watching me with sadness in their eyes. Dumbledore's question took me by surprise.

"What? Me? Studying properly? Here in Hogwarts? After everything I've been through?" I could not believe him. Did he somehow lose his mind?

"Especially after it," Dumbledore said with serious expression. So he really wanted me to here.

"You must be joking!" I exclaimed. "What am I going to learn? History? It is useless, I already know everything I need to survive," I told him, still in denial.

"You can learn so much more, there are various field of magic that can interest you. You can even make friends. I can guarantee you safety, regular food and information about the rise of Voldemort. Besides it is only for a year, since you are off age," he really didn't take no as an answer. It was frustrating. Even now he was trying to pull the strings of every single life he could.

"You sure you don't know me already? Because your arguments are strong" I told him finally, after quick analysis in my head. Hogwarts was probable the safest place, after all. Where would I go anyway? I had no home, despite my family is still alive now, I had nowhere to go. I sighed. This was definitely something I haven't seen coming.

"Let's sort you to one of the Houses," he clapped his hands and apparently was satisfied with himself. I took a deep breath. Dumbledore was strange person in any time period. He stood up and took a very old hat, commonly known as Sorting hat from its place behind the Headmaster.

"_Aah, what do we have here? Someone from Nox family, interesting. I haven't seen the Nox in Hogwarts in many decades. You are definitely not academic type, you have ambitions and strong will. But I think we both know there is only one possible House for you, don't we?_ GRYFFINDOR!" shouted the hat after few thoughts inside my head. I was sure I would end up in Gryffindor, as it said to me.

"Ambrose, please let Minerva know I need her for a moment," Dumbledore said to one of the portraits hanging on the wall. The formed headmaster nodded before disappearing into the black background, only to be back in a minute with a note that Minerva is on her way.

"Professor McGonagall, meet Miss Zara Nox, she will be the new student in seventh year. Sorting hat placed her to your faculty. Her origins and her arrival are a little complicated, please be somehow more understanding," he introduced me to the woman I've already knew. She was part of Order and died in one peculiar fight before the final battle. I knew that this loss was enormous for the remaining members. She was amazing witch.

"Pleasure to meet you Miss Nox. I hope you will call Gryffindor your new home," she greeted me and I simply nodded. No more words were needed.

"Tomorrow is Sunday. Please come to my office around 9 am, I will secure a portkey for you to Diagon Alley, so you will be able to buy everything you need. Now, Minerva, if you please excuse me," he said and gestured to leave his office. McGonagall leaded the way, up to the Gryffindor tower. Staircases moved, portraits were curious about me, students were passing by and there was life everywhere. It was exactly like Remus described their student years.

Then I realized something. Realization hit me hard. I stopped in the middle of the courtyard we were crossing. 1976. It can't possibly be... But it was. I hurried after McGonagall and we finally reached the entrance to Gryffindor common room. Professor said the password, _Caput Draconis_, I knew why Dumbledore wanted me studying here. I saw the famous Marauders. Memories flashed through my mind, when Remus was telling me some stories what they've done.

'Oh my, calm down, no emotions, remember?' I said to myself. I have to be strong, I can do it. I need only to change the future, no big deal.

"Miss Evans, glad to see you are here. This is our new student Miss Nox, she will be joining you and the other seventh year's in the studies. Could you please show her around?" asked McGonagall and redheaded girl that came to us after we entered nodded. "So Miss Nox, welcome in Gryffindor. Remember, 9 am in the Headmaster's office. Bring someone along, if you like, should not be a problem," professor promptly left and I looked into the green eyes of future Harry´s mother. This will be hard.

"Pleasure to meet you, I am Lily Evans, the Head girl, come I'll introduce you to your roommates," she showed me three girls sitting on one of the sofas in the common room. I liked the red-gold colors and the warmth of the room. It felt so like home.

"So, these are Marlene McKinnon, Dorcas Meadowes and Sandra Wilkins. Girls, this is..." Lily started the introduction even when she didn't know my first name. I smiled.

"Hi, I am Zara Nox," I finished for her. Girls seemed to be nice and smiled honestly back. Marlene had petite figure, long blonde hair and really kind hazel eyes, Dorcas was little taller with long straight brown hair and Sandra was tall as well, with bright blue eyes and short brown hair. So I was the only one with black curls, I told myself.

"Oi, Evans, and what about us?" said a boy with brown messy hair and brown eyes behind round glasses. I immediately recognized him from photos Remus showed me. He kept them by himself. Boy and his friends approached towards us.

"These gits are going to be your schoolmates as well, unfortunately. This one is Potter," she said with a death glare that could compete with some Death Eaters I've met.

"Yeah, we already met," I said with a smile, "he showed me way to Dumbledore´s office," I added to their confusion and James grinned widely.

"That hurts, Evans, you know? By the way, I am known as James or Prongs as well, this is Sirius Black, known as Padfoot, Peter Pettigrew known as Wormtail and at last our brainiac Remus Lupin, known as Moony," he finished introduction instead of Lily.

"Nice to meet you guys, I am Zara," I shook hands with them, much to Lily's displeasure. I wasn't sure when she started to date James, but I knew her hostility was not coming from her heart. It was especially hard for me to look into Remus eyes, because I instantly remembered the moment he was killed. I had to steady myself and took hold of the sofa.

"Hey, watch out. You should take it easy, I am surprised Madame Pomfrey let you go already," told Sirius with some softness in his voice. I haven't expected that.

"How do you know I was in Hospital wing?" I asked.

"Oh, we've found you on the grounds. You looked rather horrible that day, I must say. How you even managed to get there? You literally fell to the ground from nowhere," he was curious and concerned at the same time. They all looked to me more carefully and their gaze fell on my new scars. I sighed.

"I am not sure how I made it myself. Probably my subconscious took over me and performed magic I don't even know. It was kind of emergency situation," I answered cautiously. They all nodded in acceptance. It is going to be tough to answer their questions, truthfully and with careful choice of words. I am not much for a talk, more for action, type. The tension between girls and boys was evident so both groups parted. I didn't want to choose between them, so I found secluded armchair in the corner of the common room and I sat by myself for a while.

"Oh, Lily, sorry for bothering you, but I have no clothes with me, somehow. Could I borrow some of your old jeans or something?" I approached her after two hour of thinking. I was left alone with my memories and my mind whirled. Lily had almost the same figure as I did, so naturally I went to her.

"No problem, let's go to our room. I wanted to change and go to bed early anyways," she directed me to girl's dormitory. Our room was on the top of the stairs. I didn't mind the workout. The room was half-circular, with adjacent bathroom. Now five beds were adjusted by the walls, so each girl had her own space. The Gryffindor red was dominant color. I loved it. My bed was on the far end of the room, besides big window. I felt happier than ever.

"Here. These should fit you," she threw some clothes on my bed. "Thank you so much. Tomorrow I am going to Diagon Alley to buy supplies, books and clothes as well. Do you want to come with me?" I asked when I changed into one of the shirts and leggings she lent me.

"Oh, me and Marlene planned to help professor Derney with some project, I am so sorry, but you can ask Sandra or Dorcas, come!" she took my hand and ran out of the room. There were not many people left in the common room, so we definitely caught the attention of remaining ones, especially the marauders. They looked positively pleased with our outfits, especially James who was staring at Lily in he own leggings and white loose T-shirt. I smirked at them and turned my head to the girls.

"Do you have any plans for tomorrow?" Lily asked Sandra and Dorcas. "Actually I have a date," said Dorcas evasively.

"And you Sandra? I am going to Diagon Alley tomorrow, for shopping," I asked her. "I am so sorry Zara, I would love to come, I love shopping, but I have an essay for potions, because my cauldron kind of blew up last lesson," she said and looked genuinely sorry.

"Don't worry about it then, I will go alone, no problem," I assured them with a smile. We left then, returning back to our room. My new home, at least for a while, I told myself, when I lay in the bed.

Review, even when it is not the last chapter you are reading ;)


	4. Shopping spree

**AN: I am in great mood today so this chapter was written in really short time... Don't get used to that, my updates are going to be highly irregular, probably :D But now I have a lot of ideas in my head :D This chapter is rather long and detailed, but I couldn´t resist... **

**Please, review ;) I really want to know if it is good or not ;)**

4. Shopping spree

Nec Temere, Nec Timide - Neither rashly, nor timidly

"Hey, Zara, wake up!" someone shook my arm. I hesitantly opened my eyes. Lily was smiling brightly at my confusion.

"Its half past seven, if you want to get ready, have a breakfast and be in Headmaster's office in time, you have to get up from the bed, now," she said rather strictly. I nodded and hurried along with morning routine. Other girls were still asleep.

Lily borrowed me some jeans and loose blue cardigan. I put on my converse, one of few things house elfs were able to save. The other one was black patterned shirt that used to belong to Tonks with three photos inside the pocket. I was glad I have at least something from my time here.

"What you think you are doing?" I asked Sirius, who left Great Hall with us, fully clothed as he was about to go for a walk. We just finished quick breakfast and were heading to Dumbledore´s office.

"I am coming with you, naturally," he answered as it was the most obvious thing in the world. I raised my eyebrows in silent question.

"I overheard as girls said they are busy today, with their dates and homework. So I'm coming instead," he shrugged his shoulders.

"No, thanx, I am very capable going by myself," I told him, half angry and half confused, why he would want to spend a day with shopping. I am not a big shopping fan and boys usually hate it even.

"Zara, I am sorry I can't go with you," told Lily, evidently guilty, "but Sirius is right, someone should go with you. These are not safe times."

"Oh, OK, but I am not an easy target. I am able to defend myself!" I had to say. My hand reached for a gun, secured in leather holster on my hip.

"What do you have there? I see you have your wand in your left sleeve. So what is that? It looks... no, it can't be... What do you have a gun for?" she almost screamed. Few younger students walking nearby gave us shocked looks and ran away.

"Sssh, Lily, not so loud. And yes, I have a gun; it´s not loaded now, relax. I just feel safer with it," I said silently. I was not ready to answer all the questions she was about to give me, but we were right in front of gargoyle that guarded Dumbledore's office. Sirius was strangely quiet. Yesterday, in the Common room, I noticed that he likes to be right in the spotlight.

"See you later Lils, and thank you for waking me up. _Chocolate frogs_!" I said promptly and took Sirius by hand. Lily didn't stand a chance in saying anything more. We were already at the end of the stairs. The doors were opened.

"Miss Zara and Mr Black, good you are here, your portkey is leaving in ten minutes, it will send you to the Leaky Cauldron. Mr Black, I believe you know this is kind of serious situation," Dumbledore wasted no time. Sirius nodded. They exchanged few words about the security measures in the Alley.

"Ok, now, Miss Zara, here are some money, galleons as well as some muggle pounds, I believe you are familiar with them. Spend as much as you need," he handed me quite a huge stack of money. I was surprised. This was not something I was used to. But on the other hand, I haven't attended Hogwarts and my last visit of some shops was made when I was still living with my parents.

"What courses do you want to take?" asked Dumbledore. "I believe that Defence against Dark Magic, Potions, Transfigurations and Charms. You need to choose at least one more."

"Oh, then maybe, Herbology and Care of magical creatures?" I stated the two I was a little familiar with as well. I would not take Aritmacy, History or Runes at any cost. They are really boring.

"I see, here is your schedule, you will start tomorrow with other students. And here is the list of items you need to buy for your studies," he handed me two parchments. Dumbledore´s ability to foresee some things amazed me. It was great to have everything written down, so I won't forget anything necessary.

"Here you go. You can apparate to the Hogsmead on your way back, I believe Mr Black know how to get into the castle from there at any time," said Dumbledore with a smile on his face and a wink. Suddenly the portkey, a black kettle, started to glow. I took it and Sirius grasped the handle. After few seconds that Dumbledore was watching us with his blue knowing eyes we were pulled forward. I didn't like this means of transport, especially when I had my licence for Apparition done, but it was the easiest way.

Leaky Cauldron was almost empty when we appeared in one of the apparition corners. Bartender didn´t even notice us as we went back. Sirius tapped the brick wall and the entrance to Diagon Alley opened. I haven´t thought that the Alley would be so bright and vivid. I have seen it only twice, once as a child and once fully dark under the attack of Death eaters. It was Sunday morning, there were not many people in the streets and with Voldemort raising everybody was cautious, but it still held its magic.

"Ok, I must admit, last time I was here, it looked different," I said to Sirius with a small apologetical smile. I was not really nice to him before.

"See? You need me," he told in his mocking way, "So, what do you need?"

"Like, everything. I am left with nothing, just my old converse shoes and torn shirt," I answered honestly. It took him just a second of confusion before he nodded.

"Oh... So why are we wasting time? Aphotekary for potion supplies, then some cauldron, books from Flourish and Blott´s. School robes and uniforms in Madame Malkin. And then muggle shops outside the Alley," he commanded. I saluted him as a good, obedient soldier. He just chuckled and led the way. In first possible shop I have purchased big bag and placed extendable charm on it, so we don't have to carry all the things in separate bags.

Shopping in Diagon Alley was fun. Sirius made everything into joke. He even managed to persuade me to buy a broom. He said I had to have one, it is simply the must, were his exact words. I suffered a lot when I saw the skirts for my school uniform. Sirius was laughing hard at my face.

"I don't see why I had to suffer in skirt, Hogwarts is the castle, fucking castle and in winter it is freezing on the halls and they are making me wear skirt all the time? No way," I proclaimed.

"Oh, come on silly. Let me buy you a cat or something to cheer you up," he suggested.

"No, I don't like cats that much. And I have nobody to write to so I don't need owl as well, my patronus is good enough for sending messages," I told him. "And I am more like a dog person, I will wait for an opportunity to buy a dog when everything is over," I added. It was more like an idea that occurred in my head right on the spot. It would be nice thing to have a dog, some company when the war is over.

"You prefer dogs?" Sirius was clearly surprised. His look showed genuine interest. Then I remembered one thing, Sirius was practically a dog. I almost forgot on the detail he was animagus.

"Yeah, they are friendly and loyal, a dog will never leave you if you treat him right," I smiled at him. He seemed taken aback. I must have taken his hand and lead back to the Leaky Cauldron and to the muggle London. I have never been there, but since Diagon Alley was in the centre, there was no problem in finding appropriate shopping mall.

"Will this take long?" Sirius pouted as a small boy. I smiled brightly at him and dragged him to nearest bench. We sat ourselves. I took out a parchment with items I´ve already bought and started writing a list of clothes and other things I still need for my life. He was curiously watching muggles passing by, especially girls. I had to roll my eyes.

"So, here is the list. I want to make it as quick as possible. I am not a shopping-loving-girly type," I stated as I finished my summary. There were a lot of items, but I needed everything, whole new closet. I really wasn´t looking forward to it at all.

We entered first bigger clothes shop. I went through the racks really fast, picking few t-shirts, shirts, jeans and trousers along the way. I piled quite many items at first attempt. Hoodies and sweaters I wasn´t even going to try on, I decided. I can shrink them with magic, if necessary, I told myself.

"Wow, you were telling the truth that you want to make it quick," told me Sirius, as he sat in front of fitting room.

"I don´t like shopping and especially trying thing on," I responded and showed myself to him in new jeans and black t-shirt with some cartoon character on it. He smiled at me.

"I just assumed that every girl likes it," he shrugged and I was already trying other things on.

"Well, not every girl, there must be exceptions!" I laughed.

"What about these?" he showed me a pink miniskirt with a grin plastered on his face.

"No way. I don´t particularly like skirts, and that thing cannot be even called a skirt, it´s a belt. Fucking pink one. Ugh. And running or fighting in that thing would be impossible," I told him with clear disgust in my voice. He quickly gave that thing away and held hand up in surrender.

The shopping assistant that was by the counter was clearly surprised with the amount of thing I was going to buy. But my nerves would not last in more than absolutely necessary shops. Shoe store was next and I managed to find few suitable pairs quickly. All together I had now ten t-shirts, five shirts, three sweatshirts, two hoodies, two jeans, two black trousers, two pairs of converse, one trainers, two plain black shoes, real nice boots and I couldn´t resist to buy one high heels. I bought underwear as well, Sirius was really eager with helping me to pick bras up. We finished this huge shipping in record time of two hours.

"I am exhausted," I said. Sirius took the bag from my hands and refused to give it back, he was real gentleman when he didn´t act like spoiled brat.

"I am starving," he told me. "Let´s go for a lunch," he suggested and we headed towards Leaky Cauldron. It was already lunchtime and few guests were eating their sandwiches as we entered. Sirius ordered something while I was observing the place. It was a habit of mine. One is simply not careful enough.

We ate our meals in pleasant silent.

"Why did you come with me?" I asked, still wondering about his motives. He wasn´t cocky, as any boy would be, expecting something in return for such sacrifice as a free Sunday is.

"I didn´t want you to go all alone. You was in pretty bad shape when we found you, you know?" he asked me and I must have blushed against every better judgement. Why did he have such influence on me? ´He is really handsome, his stormy grey eyes are breathtakingly deep, his aristocratic look and well built figure mesmerizing, ´ told a small voice inside my head. Yeah, I must have gone a little crazy after everything, it was natural.

"I´ve been worse," I said nonchalantly, but at the same time I was kind of drolling under his gaze. I shook my head to get rid of these thoughts. Then I heard a blast coming from the back of the pub. The walls trembled as it was an earthquake. I knew better.

"Fuckt it!" I exclaimed and stood up. I drew my wand out and Sirius was instantly by my side. I put my bag under the table in the corner. Few people already apparated away. The bartender was trying to get money from his customers. I tossed him few galleons and hurried to the back. People were going the opposite way with fear in their eyes. I was thankful that I loaded my gun just in case.

"Sirius, I need you to stay close to me. Don´t be a hero, I have far more experience in fight than you might think, please follow my lead," I said and looked intensely into his stormy eyes. They reflected eagerness to fight, but there was little flicker of fear as well. ´Good, he better be scared as hothead,´ I told myself.

"Trust me on this, ok?" I repeated my plea and he reluctantly nodded. We hurried to the Diagon Alley, from where we could hear screams and shouts. I had to shut my eyes tight in attempt not to think about the last battle. This was different, they don´t have so much power, I reassured myself.

The street was a mess. Few people were running around, trying to find their relatives, I saw two dead bodies already. Five Death Eaters were marching down the street in their black robes and silver masks. I growled. Nobody was trying to stop them, people were freaking out.

"No way, they are not gonna do that," I exclaimed as I saw black figures to halt and pointed their wands to two little girls that were crying. I sent few curses and hexes towards them. Sirius joined me. Death Eaters turned to us. Two of them dissembled into the black mist and flew to us. I casted a strong shield charm around us before I attacked. With the corner of my eye I saw that two or more Aurors came to fight, but also there were suddenly more Death Eaters. I cursed under my breath.

"Expelliarmus!" shouted Sirius and managed to disarm one of the attacking men. Another one instantly started to fight with him. I stayed close to Sirius. Three figures surrounded us. Now we were back to back, fighting vigorously. My opponents had it harder, because I was sending my curses and jinxes nonverbally. It was great advantage. But we still were outnumbered and more Aurors nowhere to be found. I wondered where the hell they were. In this time they should be still well organised.

I had to shirk few times as some blast of a curse flew by me. In this moment we were losing and I hate losing. With my free left hand I drew out my gun.

"Sirius, I need your help," I said over my shoulder in conversational tone. As nothing was happening.

"I am kind of busy here," he grunted.

"I am kind of busy as well. I need your right hand, if you are able to cast spells with your other one," I said to him.

"You need what?" he practically shouted together with a strong stunning spell.

"I want to shoot those bastards, but aiming with only one hand is kind of hard when you want to shoot multiple times. As we are surrounded, I can´t focus on one side. Just grab my hand and hold it, it will kick when I fire!" I commanded and his hand held mine in a second. With a shield charm on one side I quickly looked at the other and adjusted my hand to shoot. I fired once and then again. Bullets didn´t miss their targets. They were not dead, but severely wounded.

Finally more Aurors came and Death Eaters were outnumbered. Being the cowards they were, they instantly begun to dissapparate. I let out a deep sight.

"Are you ok?" I asked Sirius. He was breathing heavily as I was. Fighting is never easy.

"Yeah, I just have never been in a fight like this. You were pretty badass, do you know it?" he finally smiled. I laughed, I actually laughed so hard I had to bend and clutch my stomach. Nobody ever said something like that to me. It was great!

"Hey, you two! Are you all right? No injuries?" come one of the Aurors to us. We shook heads. "Great, emergency is kind of full now. Good work you two by the way. Aren´t you a little young to be here today? Why were you here?" he asked suspiciously.

"Professor Dumbledore gave us permission for little shopping, we were on our way back to Hogwarts when we heard the screams and shouts. We should get going now," Sirius answered politely and quickly grabbed my hand. I knew that we should escape further questioning so I followed. My identity must remain secret. Luckily for us, he was young Auror and he just shrugged his shoulders and walked away.

"Could we go back to the castle?" Sirius asked when I found my full bag of things.

"Yes, can you Side-apparate with me? Just to be sure we end up at the same spot in Hogsmead?" I scratched my head. He smiled and took my free hand. The squeezing familiar sensation took over my body and in few seconds we were standing in the middle of the village. I was surprised again how vivid everything looked. I was so used to dark sky, brown nature and many burned or abandoned houses that this looked surreal. I had to remind myself that it was this to fight for and to change the future. This is why I was here, so that people would not be scared, their homes would remain untouched and their lives would not be miserable.


	5. Classes are madness

**AN: I know this beginning is rather extensive and detailed, but there are so many things I want to describe... I am trying to write it properly... These chapters are going to be little shorter ;)**

**Please review, I know that some of you have read it, but I have no review yet, not a single one! It's kind of frustrating, you know?**

**So hit the button at the end of the page and send me a smiley at least... :D**

5. Classes are madness

Disce aut Discede - Learn of Leave

"Ready for your first day?" asked Lily when we woke up. I yawned and stretched my body on the bed. I was still little tired, when we came back Dumbledore wanted all the details about the attack and why we have stayed there to fight. Sirius answered most of the questions; I was the silent one for a change. Dumbledore held us there for two hours before we could go back to our dorm. I could tell he wasn´t impressed with the fact his students were fighting adult Death Eaters. He knew my story, but still had his doubts. I knew the glances he gave me. They meant I will be discussing this matter on my next visit in his office.

"What do we have today?" I asked from behind the bathroom door. Girls were already in their uniforms, I was the last one to get ready.

"Oh I don´t have your schedule, McGonagall said you already have it," told me Lily. Apparently not everyone has the same schedule.

"Oh, right, mine is on my bed, if you want a look," I said and finally opened the bathroom door.

"We have most of the classes together, except the Care for magical creatures, I have Runes instead, and I don´t have advanced Transfiguration with you," she said and looked at me. "Zara, that is not our uniform, we wear skirts," she told tentatively.

"Yeah I know, but I am not really comfortable in skirts, these trousers are elegant and black, it should work. And don´t worry, I can deal with professors if necessary," I shrugged.

The breakfast passed in a blur. I hardly had a time to eat two toast and we must have gone to the Charms lesson. I was kind of curious about the whole lessons thing. Everything was new for me. I've never attended school before. I was home-schooled. My family didn't believe in educational methods in school. My mother always said school has bad influence on intelligence. I never believed her.

Double Charms were rather uneventful. Professor Flitwick spent first hour with the talk about the importance of NEWT exams, how it will influence our future. Second lesson we were practicing rather easy charms from curriculum from previous years. James and Sirius, who were having the same schedule as I did, were showing off their skills. They earned few house points for Gryffindor and I could tell, it was driving Lily crazy. I tried to stand a little bit in back, more observing than actually following the instructions. I knew these charms by heart; there was no need to be in the spotlight.

The whole lesson would impress me more, if we didn´t have to write an essay on twenty different spells, with their description and proper use. I really hate those assignments. When I had a tutor back at home, they always made me to write extensive papers on anything.

"Those arrogant show-offs, I can´t stand them, why are they like this all the time?" she complained during the lunch. I just shrugged. I had nothing against them and in my opinion they were really good in charms, so why shouldn´t they perform their capabilities?

"Talking about our amazing technique, Lily-flower?" asked James and ruffled his hair. It should have impress Lily, but actually it had quite opposite effect.

"Ugh, you are impossible!" she abruptly left the table and the Great Hall altogether. I laughed.

"Mind if we sit here?" asked Sirius, but sat immediately by my side. James took a place on my left and Remus with Peter across from us.

"What if I told you no?" I asked playfully.

"Then I would convince you. It wasn´t really a question, you know?" he raised an eyebrow.

"I figured," I chuckled and drank a little of pumpkin juice. When I put the glass back on the table, Sirius grabbed it.

"Hey!" I exclaimed, "and James, you too? Those are mine fries!" I tried to defend my lunch, but apparently I had no chance. I sighed in defeat, good thing I was already full.

"Ready for new Defence professor?" asked Remus, when guys were finally finished with the lunch. I hardly believed that their stomachs could take all the food they just stuffed in. But obviously it was a secret weapon of every teenage boy- to eat three full plates of anything and then complete it with some dessert.

"I hope it won´t be some moron as in our forth year. We really need someone who is qualified and can show us how to fight," stated James.

"Yeah, it would be handy," squeaked Peter, who only occasionally joined the conversation.

"Or you can teach us, Zara, yesterday you was kind of unstoppable," Sirius grinned. I rolled my eyes.

"I don´t have enough patience to teach anyone anything. And besides, I am not as good as I would like to be, I should be training more," I said, the last sentence more to myself.

It showed up that this year was professor Reynolds in charge, former Auror and really grumpy man on the outside. He didn´t bother with the NEWT prep-talk, and skipped to quick evaluation of our knowledge. He asked many questions and required answers from random students. I was pleased that I could answer all of mine, Marauders were successful as well.

"Now step up and make a line!" professor commended. All the Gryffindors were up in a second, but the Rawenclaws we shared this lesson with were little bit hesitant. Professor moved desks away and transformed his table into the moving figurine.

"You task is to perform three different spells on this figurine, begin!" I had a feeling that Reynolds is more like a soldier than a teacher. He used as little words as possible. I kind of liked it. Students started to show off their skills. Some of them were really weak, but few people had quick wand. The Marauders were one of the top with their quick reflexes and improved senses as animagi. Lily was particularly fierce with disarming. I watched the students with a little admiration. I had never had a chance to learn in such peaceful way. I shook those feelings away.

Everyone had already done their task. I was the last one. I stood in front of figurine and imagined it as Voldemort. Without hesitation I pointed my wand at it and blasted Expelliarmus, Stunning spell and one really strong blasting curse. Figurine blew up and transformed into the pile of ashes. I smirked to myself, I still have it.

"That was particularly strong curse, please avoid it in duelling," commented professor, but he was rather pleased with me. Guys gave me thumbs up.

"Ok, now I know how to group you. You will be doing assignments together as well as practicing during lessons," I ended up surprisingly with Lily, Sirius and James. James was very pleased with this, but you could not tell the same about Lily. She was red from anger. I just smirked and Sirius grinned. This is going to be my favourite class.

I hardly noticed as the time flew by. One moment I am going to the dinner after defence, and next one I am standing on the grounds, it is Friday afternoon and my last lesson of the week- Care of magical creatures. This class I have with James and Sirius, Remus and Lily are having Ancient Runes. Knowing almost everything professor was telling us, I found myself thinking about many things from my past. I could not remember the time I was this safe and content. Even my childhood wasn´t easy.

"Classes are madness," I proclaimed as we returned from the Care, which was about hippogriffs.

"What do you mean?" asked Lily curiously. She just joined me on our way to Great Hall.

"I am not used to having classes, in a long time I didn´t have to write an essay or any assignment. It is surreal for me," I sighed and we sat ourselves at Gryffindor table.

"You will get used to it," she told me good-naturedly. I knew she was right. As I looked around, on goofing James, smirking Sirius, Remus who was not broken as the one I knew, and every other student, I realized that I somehow fit in. I knew I found my place, here, between the Marauders and Lily. This was my time, not the one I left behind.

**AN: Do I really have to beg for any review? Is it so bad?**

**Btw, thanx for Favs: HelloBob1234 and xXallegedangelXx, my first favs at fanfiction :D Because of you I was able to push myself into writing another chapter! Hope you will like it ;)**


	6. Scraps of truth

**AN: This chapter I want to dedicate to ****_thestarsaresobrighthere_**** as my first reviewer ;) **

**I am also pleased that few of you are already following the path of Zara in this story...**

**Hope you will like it ;)**

6. Scraps of the truth

Veritas et fortitude- Truth and Courage

Despite my friendship with Lily and Marauders, I´ve spent many hours all by myself, thinking. This week was completely different from anything I´ve already experienced. I had to process many things and changes. I knew it won´t be easy, but spending time with people I knew and at the same time they were not the people I had known, was frustrating. Sometimes I almost said things I wasn´t supposed to know, I was far more confident in walking around the castle I should have been. I knew my new friends were little suspicious and I was running out of excuses.

But tonight, at Friday evening, when I was all alone in the corner of the Common room, watching people around me, I knew for the fact I am going to change their fates. My life here was far from the life I had before. It was unexpected turn of events, but pleasant one, I must admit. Despite the fact I was stuck in the 1970´s.

I scratched my scars on the cheek as I was doing assignment for Charms. It was itching as it was slowly healing. I knew people talked about them, many students were curiously eying me in the corridors, but they also knew I was hanging out with Marauders, so they didn´t tried anything. Just some jealous girls were trying to spread the rumours about me getting lost in the Forbidden Forest or that I´ve done the scratches on purpose to be more interesting. If they only knew...

"Hey Zara, put that parchment down, its Friday, for Merlin´s beard!" said Sirius. I jerked my head up and realized that I must have been lost in my thoughts and essay more than I expected. All the Marauders were sitting around me, even Lily and Marlene were sitting next to her armchair.

"Oh, I just wanted to get rid of some work, you were talking and having fun by yourselves, I didn´t want to disturb you," I shrugged nonchalantly.

"You are ridiculous. You know we noticed that you are trying to keep a distance from us?" Marlene said and gave me the look which said _we are not dumb, so talk_.

"Sorry guys, but you all know each other for so long, I just never had many friends, especially not in my age," I admitted carefully. It was the truth, there were only few people around my age in the future, and my time was hostile place. Many families were in hiding, mostly abroad, and those who remained were keeping by themselves. I had only Tonks and Remus.

"Can I... we ask you something?" aforementioned Remus cautiously waited for my response.

"Yes, of course," I smiled, but I knew it is going to be something not so easy to answer.

"How did you get those scars? Why haven´t you healed them?" asked Remus and he was clearly aware of how I got them.

"They cannot be healed," I answered warily the easier question.

"They look like..." he started.

"Werewolf scratches? Yeah, you are right. Don´t worry I can live with them. At least I have a remainder on something I should never forget. But that sick beast is going to pay, hard," the message was clear. I had experienced far more than I should in my life. Remus visibly flinched and others stiffened.

"Oh, Remus, I´ve got nothing against werewolves in general, as long as they are not Voldemort´s flunkeys. I believe you´ve met this particular bastard as well," the silence in our group was enormous. I knew I´ve just admitted that I know far more about Remus than I should. But I couldn´t help myself.

"Greyback?" asked Remus finally, clearly taken aback about my outburst. Everyone turned to him. I suppose they didn´t know who attacked Remus when he was a child.

"Yes, that sick damaged mongrel. One day he is going to wish he never met me," my deathly serious threat made Lily and Marlene to stare at me wide-eyed. "Sorry I´ve made you uncomfortable, but you have to understand, where I´m coming from nowhere is safe and I´ve learned my lesson very early. I never wanted to scare you, I am not going to hurt you, you know?" I pleaded.

"Zara, no, don´t worry, we are not scared of you, we are just surprised. Is it really that bad?" Lily was first one to comprehend what I´ve just told them. I silently nodded. She flinched as James put an arm around her shoulders, but to everyone´s surprise, she didn´t shake it.

"So you know about Remus, how? What else do you know?" asked Sirius suddenly. I saw in his eyes that he wanted to trust me, but his cautious side made him suspicious. I would be too.

"Yes, I know things. But believe me, it is better you don´t know how. Not yet. I can´t tell you just yet," I admitted that I knew more. Unconsciously I held my gaze on Peter little longer than I should have. I knew that he haven´t done anything yet, probably, but there was no way I was going to tell them the truth when he was around. If I am going to tell them the whole truth at all. I should probably discuss this with Dumbledore.

"So you are practically saying that we should believe you, but you are not going to tell us more?" I couldn´t bare the stare Sirius was giving me. His stormy eyes were now clearly suspicious and it somehow broke my heart.

"Yeah, I suppose. Look, I am not ready to tell you the truth, despite I desperately want to. And I don´t believe you would believe me. But I would never betray you. I could tell the whole school about Rem´s furry little problem, but I didn´t. Sirius, you saw me fight those Death Eaters in Diagon Alley, it was no act. Dumbledore believes me and please, believe me too. It is really hard for me now," I put my head into hands for a minute and then I dare to look up.

Lily looked completely caring, Marlene gave me encouraging smile. Remus and Peter nodded their heads. James was still looking at me as he was figuring me out, but I saw that he believed me somehow. Sirius was the toughest one. He was staring into space for few minutes. We all were waiting anxiously. Then he met my eyes. I tried to give everything into it, my sincerity and love for them all.

"I don´t know why, but I believe you. But I am going to figure out what you are hiding," he told me. I let out a breath I didn´t know I was holding. I almost flung myself on him, I wanted to hug him badly. To be in his arms and tell him everything. ´Oh, Merlin, what am I thinking? Zara, stop it you fool, you have to change the future!´ I smacked myself inwardly.

"Ehm, guys, you want some Sugar quills?" asked Peter, because he felt uncomfortable. Everyone looked at him and then we burst out laughing.

"Wormtail, your addiction to sugar and food in general, will kill you eventually," James patted his friend on the back. Peter just smiled clearly confused. The usual buzz returned to us.

"By the way, Marlene, how come you know about Remus?" asked Lily.

"Come on, it was not so hard to figure it out. Remus, you should really work on your excuses, because your grandmother died like twenty times since we are in Hogwarts," she laughed at Remus shy expression. It was adorable.

"Ok now, if you excuse me, I promised Dorcas and Sandra that I´ll help them with some charms they found in Witch weekly, Lily you coming?" Malrene stood up from her place and Lily followed.

"Zara, do you want to join?" asked Lily.

"No, I am not much into girly stuff, you know," I smiled sheepishly and they just laughed and left.

"I am going to the Kitchens, I am hungy," grumbled Peter and Remus left with him as well. James vanished mysteriously too. I was left with Sirius, who was gazing into the fire.

"Will you tell me where are you from? And how you know so much?" asked Sirius finally. I was surprised with the tenderness, he looked at me.

"If I could, I would tell you everything right away. It is just not so easy," I admitted and he simply smiled at me. He reached out and put a strand of hair behind my ear. When I took in his features, I had no doubt why most of girls in the castle secretly wanted him. I fought the urge to hug him again. This is going to be even harder than before.


	7. Little breakdown

**AN: Thanx for reviews, don´t forget to add one here as well :)**

**This chapter will show more vulnerable site of Zara, read, review and enjoy!**

7. Little breakdown

_Perfer et obdura; Dolor hic tibi proderit olim - Be patient and tough; some day this pain will be useful to you._

For the rest of the weekend they left me alone, only occasionally trying to include me into the conversations. I knew they were distressed about the whole situation. It took them only a week to take me under their protective wings. I´ve never had such friends before.

Most of the Sunday I´ve spent in Forbidden forest, watching thestrals. The sun was down for few minutes already and I couldn´t bring myself to go back to the castle. Dark lean creatures were all around me and I doubted that many student saw them. The sudden realization of every death I witnessed sunken in me and after a week, when I held my mask on, I couldn´t bear it anymore. Sitting with arms around knees I simply started to cry.

Memories on fights I´ve had, death bodies falling around me, blasts of green light, it all came to me at once. One thestral came to me and nudged me with muzzle. But I was not able to stop my cries. I was kind of hysterical, something I´ve never allowed myself to be.

Something came to me from the other side. I was too weak from crying to be on high alert by this. At this moment I didn´t really cared if it was Voldemort himself. I felt my hand being nudged from other side as thestral previously did. I felt fur on my skin. I made myself to lift head and saw big shaggy black dog. It took me a while to finally comprehend that it was Sirius in his animagus form. I cried harder for his terrible faith in my timeline. I never knew him, but Remus was shaken when he had no Marauder left by his side.

Despite everything I flung myself on him and cried to his fur. After few minutes he transformed back to a tall young man and held me tightly on his chest, his arms rubbing my back soothingly. It took me about ten minutes to stop crying and sobbing.

"T...thank you," I finally managed to tell him. I still held him in tight hug. He was stroking my hair and I slowly calmed myself. I was glad he never tried to say it will be all right or something like that. He knew better as did I.

"You don´t have to go through this alone, you know that?" he asked me tenderly. I shut my eyes tight to suppress more tears.

"Everything is different. I can change things, I know things. But I am afraid I am not strong enough. I´ve seen so much pain, so many deaths, I don´t know if I can fight," I admitted this for the first time even to myself. This was my biggest fear.

"I´ve seen you fight, remember? You showed no fear at all. It must be hard for you, but you are stronger than you think. Even your body is willing to fight, such quick recovery after so many wounds infected with dark magic, it was a miracle. And you are not alone, we will fight with you," he kissed me on the top of my head. I sighed. I knew I should have keep a distance from them, being attached to people I need to save was risky, dangerous. It made them targets. But I couldn´t stay away.

"How did I deserve such good friends?" I asked him with small smile. I lifted a little and look him in the eyes. The storm within his gaze was stirring.

After few minutes we finally stood up and headed to the castle. It was dark outside and probably after curfew. We managed to avoid all the patrols, Sirius was truly skilled prankster and his orientation in the castle was enviable.

"Please, don´t say you saw me in that state, I can´t stand when people are looking at me with pity," I said nervously just before the entrance to the Common room.

"Don´t worry, I won´t say anything. And girls don´t know about ... my dog," he tried to hide his concern with messing with his jet black hair.

"Your secret is safe with me," I gave him reassuring smile and he said password to Fat Lady. She swung opened and we were immediately dragged to the seats near the fireplace, surrounded with our friends. When I saw their worried faces I made a guilty grimace.

"Please don´t kill me?" I said in small voice and genuine smile. My eyes may be red and my face puffed from all the crying, but I was really better now.

"We were worried sick, Zara! You should have at least told us! We searched everywhere for you, when you didn´t come back after sunset," exclaimed Lily and her worry and frustration was all over her pretty face.

"I am fine now, really. I´ll tell you next time where I am going to be. I just needed some space and peace. Thestrals were making me company," I said and they looked stunned.

"You mean you were in the forest? By thestrals? They are symbols of death!" told Sandra with concern about my sanity.

"They are no such thing. They are just misunderstood creatures, which would never harm a thing. The only thing associating them with death is that only people who witnessed death can see them, that´s it. Actually, they are pretty awesome, I flew on them before, better then broom, I must say," I smiled at the memory when I first came to Hogwarts after the fight in my family house. I saw thestrals and immediately run towards them. It is the only horde in Britain that is not scared of people, yet trained to pull the carriages.

"So you saw someone die?" asked Dorcas wide-eyed. I let out one bitter laugh.

"If only someone," I said more to myself and looked at Remus, with memory of his ripped torso lying on the floor. Sirius, sitting next to me heard. He shot me worried glance and when he saw tears forming in my eyes again, he pulled me into hug.

"Psst, you can go on, you´ve got us," he said soothingly and I nodded. I had to go on; Dumbledore hadn´t sent me here to hide, but to change things. I was pretty sure my presence here already may have changed something. I angrily wiped tears away.

"Any prank I can help with?" I asked and the surprise on their faces was incredible. I started laughing. Sandra definitely doubted my sanity, Lily looked horrified for a second, Marlene simply accepted my reaction and Dorcas was confused. Boys were even funnier, James was looking at me as I was saying that mountain troll is beautiful, Remus couldn´t hide his concern and Peter was studying me as some kind of meat. It made me shake a bit. Sirius had still an arm around me and was bemused about our friends' reaction as well.

"Oh, come on! I had a little breakdown, not a big deal. I´ve seen a terribly enormous amount of crap and pain. There are thing that are going to haunt me forever. But I am here now, I am better and I just need your patience, are we clear?" I ordered and they nodded. Finally we all realized that it is almost one in the morning and we should probably go to bed. I gave Sirius one last grateful smile and headed up to the dorm.

When I was falling asleep, somehow I felt better. The pain was still there, terrible memories will cause me nightmares again, there was no doubt about that. But slight piece of my mind was calmed down a little.

**AN: It may be little shorter than previous chapters, and kind of depressing one, but I hope it has some potential! :D**


	8. First name basis

8. First name basis

Para bellum- Prepare for War

Morning came earlier than anyone anticipated. Walking down to Great Hall for breakfast was like being still asleep. Monday mornings are always the worst. The routine of waking up, going to breakfast, attending classes, lunch, more lessons, dinner and homework, was something I still must get used to. For two years I was constantly watching my back, moving around a lot, fighting or running, never staying at one place for long time. Routine is something I almost forgot.

I sat myself between Lily and Sirius, who were giving me shy curious glances. I tried to ignore them, but his grey storming eyes were hard to escape. Yesterday he helped me a lot and somehow I felt that he would understand everything I went through. He couldn´t, but the possibility having someone who cares so deeply was nice. The fact that he found me in the Forest and held me in his arms is saying something, isn´t it?

I put some jam on my toast and started to eat when owls flew into the hall. Morning mail never interested me, because I had no one who would possibly write to me. Remus purchased his daily Prophet and scanned through the front page. Suddenly the tension in the Hall greatened; few people screamed or started to cry. It took me just a heartbeat and one glance at Remus to confirm my first thoughts.

"Shit!" I said under my breath. Sirius looked at me curiously. "It already begun," I murmured. The Prophet had big photo of Dark mark above some burned house. One family was killed during the attack and several mugleborns were missing. I groaned to myself. Dumbledore was not present at the professors´ table. I ate my toast real quickly.

"Excuse me during classes, will you?" I asked Lily, who scowled. I gave he my best I´ll explain later look. She nodded, but remained suspicious.

"Professor McGonagall, I need to speak with Dumbledore, immediately, you might want to come along," I stood up, as she passed by. Her movement was stopped midtrack. My friends were staring at me as I was an alien.

"You´ve got classes Miss Nox," professor said accusatory. I took a deep breath. This is not the same McGonagall that taught you how to made the statues come to live and defend the castle, I must have reminded myself.

"Oh, I don´t believe it can wait, Minerva," I used her first name with easy and immediately gave myself facepalm. ´Real smooth move, Zara, real smooth´ I told myself. McGonagall seemed so taken aback, she agreed to come with me to Dumbledore´s office.

"Minerva, Zara, I thought you would come," greeted us Dumbledore, when we entered his office. Fawkes immediately flew to me. "Fawkes really missed your company, as it seems," headmaster smiled and politely offered seats.

"So, Zara, you want professor here to be informed?" asked Dumbledore. I nodded. I was stroking feathers of magnificent phoenix, while I was considering how to put it.

"Yes, I believe it will be for the best. Professor, you see, my arrival here was highly unusual. It is because I am coming from future, and not very bright one. In my time Voldemort is in charge, Ministry fell shortly after Harry Potter´s death. He was our only hope, according to the prophecy he was the chosen one to defeat Voldemort. He was killed along with many members of Order. I don´t want to go into much detail, there is no point in that. I am here to change what happened, to defeat Voldy in this first wizarding war," I spitted out.

"You know, I knew you, you were one of the best people in Order and most of us somehow considered you as our mother, alongside with Molly Weasley. But the point is, you have the right to know what I am doing here and why I am going to be the part of the Order, while I am still a student," I continued. Now she narrowed her brows.

"Albus, you are letting her be the part of the Order?" she asked.

"It seems I dont have a choice. I am not overly happy with that either," he answered. His gaze was clearly sending a warning. I had no intention to argue with him now.

"Oh, come on! I´ve been fighting for my survival for two years. I´ve seen things that are haunting me regularly in my nightmares and I highly doubt that you have as much information now as I do. I may not know everything about this war, since I was born in Nox family and only year before Potters died, but I know things. Do you know he created horcruxes? Seven freaking pieces of his soul? We were not able to find them all, but now we have more time and Naginy is not one of them yet. As is not Harry. I know when some of the members have died, now they are still breathing! I am going to help you whether you like it or not!" my speech must have made good impression. They were staring intensively and were somehow defeated.

"Fine Zara, you will be introduced at next meeting as a new member. We should be careful about the information we are going to tell, there are no guarantees who would betray our ranks," Dumbledore sighed and for the first time in the 70´s he looked like the old man from the future I knew. The chill ran through my spine. He must remain strong, Only Harry´s death broke him. And that is not going to happen this time.

"I think, we should be heading to the classes, I can´t dismiss another lesson now, and Miss Nox should study as well," McGonagall stood up.

"No problem, I always have no problem in learning more charms, jinxes or curses, everything could be handy. Just Albus, ehm... sorry, professor Dumbledore, in order to provide you as many information as I can, I will need to borrow your pensieve. I have to look through my memories, and there is no way I am going to show you everything. Believe me, you don´t want to know how you died or what fate is waiting around the corner if Voldemort wins," I said at last and stood up as well.

"I´ll think about it," he said and merely smiled at me. He knew I won´t give up easily at this one. He was trying to look into my head few times, but my walls are strong. Occlumency and Legilimency were essentials to master in my family, long before the second war erupted.

During Charms and even after the lunch during Defense, I was unfocused. I almost smacked my duel partner, some snobbish rawenclaw with my bare fist. My patience with his annoying comments was short-living. I would win sooner, but his remarks on how girls can´t fight made me kind of sick. He realized his mistake when professor Reynolds must have stopped me from attacking.

After a long walk instead of dinner I made it to the common room. Marauders were harassing our fellow seventh year's girls. I smiled for the first time since breakfast. They were trying to cheer them up, the whole castle was kind of moody after the news about attacks. I made my mind real quickly.

I run across the common room, effectively evading bumping into few younger students. Marlene saw me, but I shook my head and put a finger to my mouth. James was closest to me. I jumped on his back with a big grin.

"Prongsie!" I laughed at the expressions of my friends. Remus was chuckling softly and Sirius eyebrows were lost in his hair. "Come on, my fellow stag, lets have some fun!" James stiffened for a second but then he started to laugh. I had to tighten my grip not to fall down from him.

"You know, Sirius is over there," he pointed to mentioned Marauder.

"I know," I replied. Lily was kind of glaring at me as James was trying to shake me down. When he finally managed it, I ran to Sirius to hide.

"He wants me! I am scared! Help me!" I was acting like terrified little girl. Now Marlene burst out with laughter, Dorcas and Sandra were again considering my mental health. As James started to chase me, Sirius and Lily joined as well. We were the oldest in the room, but for sure the noisiest and the most crazy group.

"That was fun!" Lily said, when we finally settled down on the couch.

"What was that about?" Remus asked me.

"You all looked like you needed something to distract you from the morning. From now on, look on the bright side. We are on the safest place where we can possibly be. It is horrible what´s going on behind the Hogwart´s gates, but we should enjoy the fun and relative peace while we can," I said.

"I suppose you´re right. There is nothing we can do right now anyways. We are going to fight after school, we should learn everything we can and have fun," Sirius ruffled my hair and I nodded.

**AN: Review!**

**I want to know how do you like it, if you like it, what is good and what should I change! **

**Review! :D**


	9. Just a little fun

**Review! :D**

9. Just a little fun

_Tempora mutantur- Times are changing_

Two days were rather uneventful. I was falling into the routine and even my senses were not on high alert all the time. I stopped being jumpy around new people, but little suspicion was still there, especially with Slytherins and some Rawenclaws. On Thursday morning I woke up very early, but with amazing idea and in great mood.

Without hesitation I´ve done my morning ritual and left the room. I was the first one in the Common room. I looked around once more and ran up the stairs to boys´ dormitory. I found the seventh years´ dorm at the top of the stairs, just like our room. I knocked and without waiting I opened the door.

"Guys, guys, I´ve got an... idea," I started and stopped to have a look. I surprised them right when they were getting dressed. Remus was buttoning his shirt; I was able to see his slim, but fit figure. Peter was still asleep. James just exited the bathroom, only in a towel and Sirius was smirking at me just in his pants.

"What is it Zara?" asked James, as my presence was the most natural thing in the world.

"Gosh, that kind of looks should be illegal!" I exclaimed before I could think about it. Remus was now really red in face and was desperately trying to button up his shirt, but failing.

"You like what you see?" asked Sirius. I gave him my most provocative look and my gaze stood a little longer on his six-pack.

"Oh, yeah, enjoying the view. Remus, I´ve never imagined you are so well-built," I told him with a grin. He was too shy for his own good.

"Do you imagine us often?" Sirius was determined to prove something. And his charms were definitely working. Screw this!

"All the time Sirius, all the time," I wasn´t going to admit anything, "anyway, I´ve got an idea for a brilliant prank, on slytherins of course!"

Potions later that day was fun. Sirius and James agreed with me to make potions we needed for a prank instead of the appointed one. Remus was trying to maintain his highest grades; I could not care less about them. And boys could survive without another Outstanding on their score.

I was giggling madly at the looks Lily was giving us. Everyone was working separately this lesson and Slughorn didn´t even stood up from his chair. I was trying to hide the ingredients I was using, so were Sirius and James. At the end of the lesson it looked like our potions gone somehow wrong. Nobody suspected that our distressed looks were not because it went wrong, but because we had to brew more complicated potion then everyone else in half of the required time. But it worked!

After lunch we had Transfiguration. The whole lunch break we were discussing how to pull that prank, and eventually we came up with idea. We just had to wait till this lesson was over.

"Today we are going to start on human transfiguration. It is the most complicated area of transfiguration we are teaching here in Hogwarts. You may struggle with it at first, but I hope you will be able to perform this kind of magic eventually," started McGonagall the lesson. I sighed heavily. Human transfiguration taught me Moody, a year ago. It was tricky to perform correctly, but I managed it. So I am going to be bored again.

"Shh, Zara!" Sirius poked me from behind. I was sitting next to Remus, behind Lily and Marlene.

"What?" I asked little irritated. One thing was that I´ve already knew what to do and I didn´t need to listen, but something completely different was to be on bad terms with McGonagall.

"We should leave for the kitchens right after the lesson," he hissed.

"Yeah, I know, you moron," I shook my head. Sometimes he was acting like a five year old.

"Ehm, I hope I am not interrupting something here, Miss Nox, Mr Black. You can perform the spell, when you are so talkative," professor McGonagall gave us stern look. I was relieved that I´ve already had covered this topic before. With a complicated flick of my wand I managed to transform my left hand into a bear´s paw, full covered with fur. Sirius performed similarly impressive transfiguration of his hand into an eagle´s talon. McGonagall nodded firmly and focused on other students. I sighed with relief.

"Miss Nox, a word please," called McGonagall when the bell announced the end of the lesson. I packed my things and went to her desk. She waited till the room was empty.

"The meeting of Order is on Saturday, please come to my office at eight in the evening," she said. I was mildly surprised that Dumbledore will keep his word about my introduction on the next meeting. He was usually more secretive and cautious. But the war just started, the Order haven´t suffered from so many losses and Peter haven´t betrayed their ranks. His position in this period of time was a little different, I had to remind myself.

I hurried to the Kitchens, where the Marauders have already "spiked" the drinks for Slytherins. I was surprised that house elves went along with it, but the Marauders constant presence in the Kitchens, their kind behaviour and persuasion must have worked miracles.

We quickly left the elves to serve the food and run into the Great hall. It was already full with students. We sat ourselves on our usual places in the middle of the Gryffindor table and started to eat. The conversation engulfed us. We almost forgot about our prank. Only shrieks and yelps made us to turn around to see what´s wrong.

Every Slytherin had their hair or skin, or both, coloured in different neon shade. Fluorescent pink and orange were winners. It was hilarious. The whole great hall erupted with giggles. We were laughing our heads off and I saw even the professors hiding their smiles behind the goblets. Dumbledore caught my eye and the legendary twinkle was there. I felt somehow lighter; I smirked and tried to calm down Lily a little. She was trying hard not to burst out into the laughter as well, but her Head Girl duties made her stay put.

Two more days and it was already another Friday. I never imagined that the time could fly so fast. But as people say, when you are having fun. And for the last three days I was mightily enjoying myself. For once I was not thinking about the deaths, despairs of war or my constant nightmares. As soon as I woke up in the morning, drenched in sweat, I put those feelings aside. I was given a chance to actually be a reckless teenager and I was not going to waste it.

Care for magical creatures in the afternoon was cancelled due to the professor injury. Nobody actually minded. I was sitting in the Common room with the Marauders. Remus and Peter were playing Exploding snap. Sirius was heartily persuading James that his favourite Quidditch player was better than James´. Girls entered the room just moments ago and took seats around us. This was my opportunity.

"Party?" I asked with all the innocence I had left in me. It took them only few seconds to comprehend my proposal. Living the full life was my priority now and since I´ve never been at the proper party I had made it my ultimate goal to throw one.

"Party!" James exclaimed enthusiastically. I knew I could count on them.

"I am going with Pete and we will fetch the food, ok?" stated Remus and left. They were already pretty skilled in preparing the party. I´ve expected nothing less.

"Girls, what do you think?" I smiled at my friends. Marlene and Sandra looked kind of pleased with the idea, Dorcas already left the room, but Lily was not very pleased. She was frowning.

"I don´t want t be a part of it, we have assignments to do," she said. She was all about the duties-first, trying to maintain the proper image of a Head Girl.

"Oh come on! Don´t be such a bookworm! It´s Friday for Merlin´s sake! We are supposed to be a little wild, have fun! I remember when you said you wanted to dance," mischievous grin was all over my face as I pointed my finger on her. I knew I was about to win this argument. She was just too proud and stubborn to admit that Marauders party are great and she would be actually having fun.

"I don´t know what you are talking about!" Lily was now red in her face, but apparently she realized that I´ve had a point. Her denial was adorable.

"Lils, please?" I tried my puppy eyes and everybody had done the same. She was now surrounded with five identical innocent facial expressions. The best one was Sirius´ and I had pretty good idea where it came from. He was such a puppy.

"Oh, OK! Fine! Whatever!" she yelled in frustration.

"We love you, Lily-flower!" I fiercely hugged her.

Tasks were divided, preparations in full swing, everybody knew what to do. I watched in awe as the word of the party travelled through the Gryffindor tower and brighten the day.

"Oh my, that is a lot of Firewhiskey!" I exclaimed as Sirius and James brought the bottles on the prepared table.

"You should wait for a celebratory party after Quidditch," Sirius grinned and put enchantments on the bottles, so no kids under 15 could touch them. He put an arm around my shoulders. I just shook my head and said nothing.

"You reckon it´s time?" asked Remus.

"Yes, it is," nodded Sirius. I was little confused. James hop on one of the tables.

"Hey! Hey! Minions!" he called for attention. "Your beloved Head boy speaking!" the Common room went still and silent.

"Tonight is the night for fun! I want you to behave and do no funny business! Kids are not allowed to touch the Firewhiskey, but can attend the party till eleven! I know I am awesome, thank you, no need to whistle," he chuckled.

"Anyway, we are going to have fun! Because who we are?" he yelled.

"GRYFFINDORS!" the whole Common room shouted back. I was stunned.

"And what we do?" he screamed once more.

"WE PARTY!" the response came immediately.

"That´s right! Now go!" he flicked his wand and the music started playing. Madness begun. The buzz returned, people were laughing, smiling, some were already dancing and drinking.

It was one of the most amazing evening I´ve had. I drank pretty much the whole bottle of whiskey and end up dancing with three Marauders on the table at once. And then again, with Sirius. I saved him from his fanclub several times and he was rather pleased with it. Lily had a few drinks as well and to everyone´s surprise she accepted an invitation to dance with James. I´ve never seen more sincere and surprised smile on anyone.

The party lasted till three in the morning and we were not able to get to our beds. The whole sixth and seventh year stayed in the common room, in various sleeping positions. I ended with my head on Sirius lap and he somehow fell asleep while sitting on sofa. I really didn´t care where the rest of us were. My drunken self evaluated that Sirius is the only one who I really want to be with at that precise moment. It was truly fun night.

**AN: Review! **

**I know that it took me awful long time to update, but I somehow had other things in mind. But I am back with many ideas for future chapters, so be prepared! I hope this one will make you smile ;)**

**And review! I really want to know what do you think! **


	10. The Meeting

10. The Meeting _Credo quia absurdum- I believe because it is absurd_

I woke up lying on Sirius, with his arms around me. I was not able to move just yet. I had the worst hangover ever, not that mine hangovers were any better before. The resistance had always reasons to drink, and even I was young and Mrs. Weasley was not pleased with it at all, I drank as well. But not as much as I did yesterday.

"Remind me again, why I dank the whole bottle?" I asked no one particular. The Common room was quieter than last Saturday. A lot quieter. Even kids were considerate enough to lower their voices or leave the room.

"Here, drink this, Hangover potion," James handed me small vial.

"Thanx, but it won't work. Give it to Sirius or Lily, or someone," I told him. I tried to massage my temples, but my attempts were futile. I knew I had to drink a lot of water and maybe, maybe in the evening I will be able to operate properly.

"How so?" asked Sirius curiously. I had to think about the topic for a while.

"Oh, your precious cure for hangover. I am immune to some potions and this is one of them. It is similar to Veritaserum, the ingredients are almost the same, just the brewing process differs," I replied automatically. Only surprised gasps from my friends signaled that I told something extraordinary.

"You are immune to Veritaserum?" Lily was shocked.

"Yes, it was part of my training, back at home actually. Being a Nox has its perks," my answer shocked them even more.

"Your parents forced you?" James inquired. His eyes were disbelieving. He was raised with so much love and care that for him it was unthinkable.

"No, they never forced me to do anything. We just value our secrets and especially our free will. When I share something, it is because my trust, not because I am forced to," I tried to justify my training. It was something completely different from everything they knew. But there are very good reasons for such actions. Our group fell into silence. They were thinking about me, about the thing they knew so far. James and Lily were probably thinking how they are going to gain the same immunity to so feared truth serum.

"Do you trust me?" murmured Sirius his question into my ear. His hot breath gave me goosebumps. I didn´t have to think about it much.

"Yes, Sirius, I do," I told him quietly, with a little guilty feeling. I do trust him, more than anyone in this room, but I was not ready to tell him the whole truth. It would ruin him. I remained silent, comfortably lying on his chest for another hour or so.

The day flew in lazy manner. Nobody was rushing anywhere, the whole Gryffindor was suspiciously calm and silent. The dinner was my first meal of the day and I was rather cautious about the food. It is better not to force it.

"Sorry guys, I´ve got to leave you. I´ve got a meeting with McGonagall. Do not follow me and do not worry, I´ll be back. Probably late, see you!" I announced when I noticed it is almost eight. I left the Common room in a hurry. Fast pace was not good for my tremendous headache but I couldn´t be late.

I barely made it and knocked two times at McGonagall´s door. She was already dressed in travelling cloak and ushered me in.

"Just in time. We are going to use the Floo network. Here, read this," she gave me a small parchment with the note from Dumbledore. I immediately recognized his neat handwriting. He was probably the secret keeper of the building, as back in my the days the Order was using Grimauld place. Before it was destroyed and we had to move to Hogwarts.

"The Headquaters of the Order of the Phoenix are located in No.41 Scrimshire lane, Ashtown," I read aloud, knowing the drill.

"Here we go," I smirked when I entered the fireplace with McGonagall by my side. Traveling with Floo network was not pleasant, but fast. And better then apparition when you don´t know the exact location. We resurfaced in fireplace made of white marble. The whole room looked luxurious, but a little scraggly. It was probably abandoned house with glorious days some decades ago.

"Your names?" boomed unmistakable voice of Alastor Moody when we entered the other room with long table and many chairs. Some people were already present, talking in hushed voices, many seats still empty.

"Alastor, I believe you remember your former professor, you are not so old to forget the McGonagall, who gave you detention for transfiguring your schoolmate into a weasel," she answered with raised eyebrows. Apparently they were already using security questions.

"And who is this?" he boomed. I raised an eyebrow. I knew his paranoia, but he still had his leg, I didn´t expect him to be the same Moody I used to know. Good that some people doesn´t change at all.

"I am Zara, new member," I replied shortly. I will be introduced later. Moody suspiciously eyed me, but said nothing more. I scanned the room. It was rather big former living room, with white walls and red hangings around three large french windows. There were two doors, one leading to the room with the fireplace and one presumably to the kitchens. I had an impression that the house have two more floors with several rooms. But I could have been wrong. The table was huge, made of solid wood, probably oak. Chairs were gathered from various rooms, some were plain, some dark, others with cushions. But overall the room looked welcoming. Nothing like old dark Grimauld place.

Few more people entered the room. I knew only McGonagall and Moody. The others were just people from old photographs we had on the wall in Hogwarts as remainder of our losses. I saw several curious glances to me and hushed conversations on my behalf. I didn´t pay any attention to them. When Dumbledore entered the room at last, everyone took a seat.

"Welcome everyone. Its good to see you all in good health. Yes Fabian, you too, do I have to check my pumpkin juice for some laughing potion?" he started witty. Mentioned man with red head just waved his hand.

"Now, I would like to introduce our latest member, Miss Zara Nox," he announced and pointed at me. I had to get up and politely not to them.

"Isn´t she too young?" asked someone.

"And here we go," I grumbled. Every time the same song.

"She is young but she has some vital information. I was not very happy with her as a active member, but she can be very persuasive," Dumbledore said and I smirked at him.

"And what are those?" asked Moody, his magic eye never leaving my face.

"She has information about the Voldemort´s secrets," he answered vaguely. I sighed as Dumbledore and Moody tried to look into my head at the same time. I pushed them away, but with my headache it was not very pleasant.

"I am not a spy, if you are implying it. I just know things," I said calmly.

"That would tell anyone," Moody squawked. Some people introduced themselves. Some asked where I am from. I was as polite and as vague about my origins as I could. We couldn´t tell them who I really was. They would asked many questions about their fates. Once people know their future they tend to do exactly as it was said to them. And I was not goingto risk loosing so many good people.

"Come on, we need to focus, not to fight against each other," Dumbledore said in his calm voice. I shrugged.

"We should continue with our meeting. Aurors, what are the news? Any attacks?" he asked and he focus was on the people around Moody.

"There was a big attack in Wales, some muggle village, we came late," he started and my inner alarm went red.

"Where in Wales?" I asked to everyone's surprise.

"Near Denbigh," he said and continued with his report. I paled.

"We were really surprised with this attack, it was just ordinary muggle village. Only then we´ve found out one hidden wizarding household, but we were late, we have no idea who they were," he concluded.

"NO! Albus tell me this is not happening!" I demanded.

"I am sorry Zara, I´ve had no idea," he started to apologize.

"No... I can´t loose them again! Let me go!" I tried to leave the room but the Prewett twins stopped me and wrapped in their hands.

"It is too late, I am so sorry," Dumbledore started again.

"Sorry? sorry? Screw your apologies! My family is dead! Everyone is dead! They never had time to enjoy anything, they are dead! I lost them again! And you are sorry? I don´t fucking care about your empty words!" I was crying. Again I lost my cool and indifferent composure. I was loosing it. My family... My parents for whom I was a miracle after so many years of trying to have a child. My grandparents who lost so many things before. I and my little brother were not even born yet. My presence here should have change things for better, not for worse!

"Zara, you can´t do anything now," he said as I calmed a little.

"Oh, there you are mistaken. Because I can, and I will. I am the last Nox now and I am going to show that petty little excuse for a wizard how does it feel to loose everything," my deadly calm voice stunned them. Prewetts let me go. Dumbledore still had doubts in his eyes.

"You know what? Here you are, come and look into my head. You were trying to do so since you´ve found me. Look at it!" I was angry and frustrated. My voice remained calm, my face didn´t show any more real emotion, but the rage I felt was overwhelming. I loosened my barriers a bit, found some memories and forced them into Dumbledore´s mind.

I showed him as Bellatrix killed my little brother, I showed him as Death Eaters attacked Hogwarts, I showed him few images of the battle we had in Grimauld place. He broke the eye contact when he saw the death of three little children in the Great hall during final battle.

"Satisfied now? Saw what you wanted? I´ve got plenty more!" now I shouted. I think there were more people who didn´t understand what was going on. I was breathing heavily. Finally they let me go. I left the room, the house, never looking back. I felt when I crossed the wards and dissapparated. I had to see my former home for the last time.

**AN: What do you thing? Wasn´t it too much? Because I was really uncertain about this... Let me know!**

**Review! **

**Review! **

**Review! :D**


	11. Where it all begun

11. Where it all begun

Omne initium difficile est- Every beginning is difficult

The scenery in front of me, when I appeared at gates to Nox Manor, was a carbon copy as I have last saw it. Half of the house was intact; the other one had traces of explosion. It was sad image. My family manor used to be superb Victorian country mansion located near small, quiet muggle village in Wales. Set within formal landscaped gardens and 28 acres of parkland, the building from grey stone was exceptionally ordinary in comparison to other wizarding family houses. But it was the most beautiful building for me. I knew the two floors, many dormers and decorative towers by heart.

I opened the heavy iron gates with simple press of my palm. The magic within the house must have recognized me as a Nox. Even when the wards were breached with Death Eaters previously, nobody could enter the grounds at simple will. Someone with connection to my family must have betrayed them. It was sad to think that somebody breached the Nox secrecy vow.

"Why them? Why now?" I asked desperately, silently demanding answers from the night itself. I knew it was because of me. Some kids, or better Death Eaters wannabees must have reported my "transfer" to Voldemort. He may be many things, but stupid he is not. He must have checked my background, my family, and the prospect of having powerful blood as ours on his side made him act. He wanted them to join. My family refused, as any Nox would. We may be extraordinary, more powerful and with variable abilities, we do not seek dominance and we detest blood supremacy.

I walked the gravel path slowly, admiring the gardens surrounding the manor. My grandmother had slight obsession with keeping the gardens in best shape, with different plants all over the world. Therefore the gardens were always blossoming, even during the winter you could easily find some interesting flower peeking from the white snow, which my grandmother would tenderly charmed with heating charm.

Entering the house was harder than entering the grounds. I already had tears in my eyes. I knew what I was about to find inside. I was scared. I knew there wouldn't be any bodies, but signs of the battle would be still apparent. I suppressed the shudder and with a deep breath I stepped inside. The smell of ink and parchment, freshly roasted coffee and unmistakable odour that surrounds old houses, welcomed me. I believe home is where you find peace, tranquillity, joy, and most importantly were you feel safe. And for 15 years this house, where I stepped for the first time in this timeline, was my home. First tear leaked from my eye.

"Linny?" I asked. With a loud crack the small figure of the house elf appeared. Her eyes were puffed and red from crying, her clothes dirty. She eyed me curiously and with suspicion. She must have had a rough day, with the attack and then with Ministry officials coming and going, investigating the whole incident. I let out small sight of relief. In my timeline, she didn´t survived the attack.

"Who are you?" she broke the silence.

"I am Zara Aveen Nox. I hope you will help me solve one question," I smiled softly, at her widened eyes, if it was even possible.

"And what that may be, Misses?" she asked. Never was she disrespectful, but she was more daring than normal house elf. Nox always treated their elfs with respect, almost their equals. I smiled at her.

"I need to know, if I am the new Mistress of the Manor. Can you lie to me?" I asked, knowing that house elfs can´t truly lie to their rightful masters. I was hoping that the blood in my veins would be sufficient enough for the intriguing matter as the heirloom laws were.

"Y..."she wanted to say yes, but then she shook her head. "No, Misses, Linny can not. Does Linny have new Mistress already? Those Ministry men told Linny that they were searching for relatives," she was confused, but somehow pleased at the same time.

"Linny, could we move to the Office? I´ll explain," I didn´t wait for her to comply and was already on my way to my father´s office. It was the first room to my right from the hall. It was not very big room, but at the same time quite spacious. Massive oak desk was the dominant feature. Walls were covered with my mother paintings, some photos and bookshelves.

With a silent flick of my wand I repaired every broken item that was lying around. Death Eaters and the Ministry workers went through my father's things with no respect. I could picture him sitting behind the desk, with a smile on his face, when I was peeking through the door asking him if he had time to tell me a bed-time story. I brushed my fingers against the polished wood. The room smelled like I remembered- like old books, ink and my father´s cologne, hinted with bergamot. With heavy sight I sat myself behind the desk.

"Linny, you don't have to stand there, sit. I know you´ve kept many of Nox family secret and I am going to tell you another one, even more important," I told her softly. She was clearly surprised about my attitude. Not many wizards treat house elfs with respect. Even when they literally raise their children.

"Linny, I am a daughter of your previous masters, Victoria and Dalton Nox. I´ve knew you since my birth. I came from the future Linny, really sad and dark future. I was sent here to make things better. And they are dead because of me, because I changed things just with my presence in this timeline. I caused the death of my parents before they had a chance to have a child," I couldn't take it anymore and I broke into sobs. Tears were falling on my father's desk.

"Missis, it was not your fault," said Linny and she placed her tiny hands on my knee. Her long fingers were caressing me gingerly. Telling someone who I knew since my birth was somehow liberating. I couldn't tell Linny was the best person to speak to, but she was definitely trustworthy.

"Sorry about my breakdown. I should be stronger now, I´ve been through this before, but it is so hard. And knowing that their dream of a children was not fulfilled breaks my heart even more," I confessed. She was not asking anything. Since I was her rightful mistress, she believed me. The magic of the place itself confirmed my veracity.

"Linny, I am going to renew the wards and seal the house. Would you like to stay here or come with me to Hogwarts till the end of the year?" I asked several minutes later.

"Linny will come with you, Missis, Linny wants to help," she said and her big brown eyes showed pure curiosity about the next adventure she was about to experience. I always like that.

"Good. Now go pack your belongings, I am going to do the same and restore the enchantments. Then I would like you to help me to repair the damages and cover the furniture, ok?" I sent her off. Another heavy sight and I was going through my father's records books and other things on the desk. After several minutes I found few important documents, I wrote a letter to the Ministry with the confirmation that I was the Nox, lost cousin of my father and I was claiming the property. My next steps took me to the small safe, where I´ve found a key to the Nox vaults in Gringotts, some muggle and wizarding money as well. I took few books from the shelves as well. Then I covered the furniture with sheet and left the room.

Linny was already waiting for me outside the office. We went through the house together, in each room I recalled some little memory to her. It was rather sad, but despite everything it made me smile a little. The worst part was my own room and the room of my little brother Jeremy. At that time they were simple host rooms, plain and indifferent. But in my memory they were full of toys, children drawings and laughter. It was painful just to think about the life my family could have without Voldemort. I reminded myself that I was going to make sure; he does not ruin more lives and families. He will fall. My family was lost, but that does not mean any other will vanish as well.

I took some clothes, jewellery and perfume from my mother's closet, just to be closer to her. She was such marvellous person. Amazingly talented in art and skilled as a witch. Her fast reactions to any mishap I caused with my accidental burst of magic in my childhood were remarkable. She used to play a seeker every time we had family contest.

When we were finisher I stood on the parlour, take a last look on the staircase and closed the door behind us for now. I locked it with charm, sealed the lock and put some enchantments on every door and window, just to be sure. Restoring the protective charms was easy part, but exhausting all the same. The tricky part was the blood wards. They were completely burned. It took me almost two hours to complete all four, at the east, south, west and north end of the grounds. I was locking the gates at the dawn.

"Let's leave, shall we?" I asked Linny and outstretched my arm. She took it and with a loud crack she apparated us right to the Gryffindor Common room.

**AN: Sorry it took me so long... I was kind of preoccupied with other things... mostly trying to write my diploma thesis (and failing miserably...) So anyway here is new chapter, I still do not have a beta so you must cope with my mistakes... :D**

**Review!**


	12. Reveal your thoughts

**AN: Hey readers! Surprised? I definitely surprised myself when I was able to finish this chapter. In future I may change the ending, adding more details to the "storytelling part" but for now it must suffice, if you have any questions, put it in the review or to the message and I will try to include it to the next chapter, or next author notes before next part of this story. **

**So Read&Review!**

12. Reveal your thoughts

Tempus fugit- Time flies

I´ve slept through the most of the Sunday. I wasn´t in the mood to answer any questions, yet. Not that I was prepared to answer the questions the following days any better. I busied myself with studies; I was reading more about defensive as well as combative spells. From my previous battle experience I knew how to fight and took in my surroundings. Now I was working on learning more spells and better accuracy of my aim, by both spells and my guns. I took example of Marauders and was secretly working on my animagus form. Keeping up my indifferent mask was hard, but I managed to joke around a little, to shake off any worries of my friends. At least for a while.

Few weeks passed, I´ve tried to hold it together as best as I could, with increasing number of unexpected attacks and failing Ministry to do anything about it, my patience was working thin. Dumbledore haven´t spoke to me since the meeting, but I could feel his eyes following me almost everywhere. He was waiting for my next breakdown. I vowed myself not to give him that satisfaction. He counted on his truth that I was too young for this fight. He was wary about approaching me, and I knew that sudden interest of McGonagall about my well being was no coincidence. Meddling fool withheld many crucial information before it was too late to stop Voldemort in my own time. The Order must have had few meetings, which I was not invited to, but I couldn´t care less. I was studying harder, training in Room of Requirements in the evenings every other day. I was preparing myself for war, once again.

This time around it was harder not to show emotions. I´ve made more friends here; too many lives depended on my decisions. I´ve learned the lesson with the lost of my family, again. Somehow, in this peaceful environment, when I was not involved in fight directly, I was becoming more restless. I had too much time for thinking. My thoughts became my enemies.

"Zara, what´s wrong? And don't you dare to say nothing! I can see it in your eyes. I may be dense sometimes, but I am not blind," Sirius approached me. It was Friday, early in the evening. I was huddled in the corner of the Library, working on the list of new spells I should try on the figurine in the Room of Requirement later that weekend.

"I can deal with it myself," I said stubbornly. I knew I was being moody lately and completely unfair. I´ve already said Remus and Lily the same thing, even rather harshly told James to sod off. I knew they meant well, they were being true friends, just trying to help. But in my head, admitting that I need to tell someone what is really going on was like admitting defeat.

Sirius sighed and ran his hand through the hair. "You know, I may not be the best with emotions, but I can hear you out. Tell me anything you want me to tell. Or tell Remus, or Lily, or someone. Just don't hold everything inside, please?" he asked me. He was sincerely concerned.

His words hit the right spot. I knew I should talk to someone. But there were warnings in my head, telling me that I should not attach myself more. I was already involved in their lives enough. For two years I´ve been losing everyone around me, watching them suffer and die. It was easier not to care too much. War is taking high price on both sides of it, no matter what your believes are.

I looked into his eyes and replayed what he told me and how he held me in his arms my first week here. I knew, right then, that he broke my barriers. I was going to tell him as much as I could.

"It is so hard for me to share some things with people Sirius, so- so hard. I... I can´t tell you everything, but I will try, ok? I... I trust you. Do you trust me?" I had tears in my eyes already. Sirius smiled at me tenderly and nodded. I wiped the tears and stood up. I held up my hand. Sirius willingly took it and I leaded the way to the Room of Requirement.

To say he was surprised when the door appeared on the wall, was understatement, but he kept silent. I asked for the comfortable room with large sofa, where we could sit. The decor was mainly purple with wooden furniture, fireplace already lit and two cups of hot chocolate prepared. I sat as close to Sirius as I could. He noticed my distress and put and arm around my shoulders.

"There is a reason why I know so much about fighting Death Eaters. My family was killed by Voldemort. The raid was unexpected, during the night. They counted on element of surprise and just went for kill. They gave us no time to counteract. No time to fight back, or flee. I was really lucky to came out alive. There was a man who rescued me, I was losing the fight, I was almost ready to give up when he showed up. He took me in and started to train me. There were few more fights, battles more likely with one ending with me watching everyone die. Everyone I knew fell to the ground lifeless and I somehow ended up here. It is a very rough summary, I can´t tell you more. You would probably think I am crazy," I tried to tell as little as possible, even when I just wanted to pour every single memory out of my head.

"No Zara, thats not enough. Tell me more, please, I want to know and I am not going anywhere. I promise you that I won´t think you are crazy, just tell me. This is killing me, you are probably the first person that totally intrigues me, sees the real me and gets under my skin. I really want to know you, be close to you, I am here for you," I was stunned. How was it possible? This was Sirius Black, marauder extraordinaire, wanting to be there for me. I stared him in the eye and the turmoil of emotions captured me.

"Why?" was mi almost silent question.

"Why? Zara, you are one of the prettiest girls, you are amazing, strong, intelligent and funny people I know. You can fight and you can make a joke, why shouldn´t I be smitten by you?" he told me softly. Sirius´hand then found my cheek and caressed the scars on my face. I melted inside.

"I am from the future," I said. Sirius stopped his movements and was searchingly looking at me. Then he let mi continue.

"The future is not bright. Voldemort rules the whole British islands. It was not really hospitable environment," I started and then processed to tell him almost everything, except the concrete names. How I was brought up in Nox family within a protective bubble of family environment. I described our faminy manor and grounds, my family members, even uncles and aunts who do not have the name Nox anymore. I told him about the secrecy vows every member must perform, due to many seeking to exploit our bloodline. How I was trained to be a survivor in different situations and why we were such magically powerful individuals due to the different "creatures" in our ancestry. How I loved my parents and my little brother, who always tried to surpass me in studying even when he was four years younger. How my grandparents and uncles always told me I would be remarkable witch that will change the world. Sirius was the first person I actually talked with about my childhood. When I once started I couldn´t stop talking.

Then I proceeded to how the Death Eaters cost me my family, I described the whole attack how I remembered it and the rescue from the Order- members. I told him about my part with the Order, our hidings, battles and how we lost the Hogwarts at last. I couldn´t include the Potters story into my own, but it was not essential tonight. Telling him how Dumbledore sacrificed his life to send me here was hard. But telling him how I discovered that my family was killed in this time too, probably because of me and how my presence changed the timeline, broke my heart once again. Sirius just held me close and then cradled me in his arms for few hours as I cried myself to sleep.

**AN: If you find some "big mistakes" let me know, I know my English is not so good as it probably should be...;)**


End file.
